Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Football - Some Humor

If you like college football and don't mind some off-color language and content, is a good site. Check out their latest review of Georgia Tech and the victory over the fake Tech:

Georgia Tech. Calvin Johnson. Calvin Johnson. Calvin Johnson, Calvin Johnson. Calvin Johnson; Calvin Johnson.

Calvin? Johnson. Calvin f******* Johnson. Genus: Calvin, species, Johnson.

There. Since adjectives won’t properly cover how good he was against Virginia Tech, an onslaught of variation will have to do. Va. Tech will take a hammering in our Blogpoll this week for violating our trust in the vaunted Hokie system (Jenkins! How could you!), but a certain gazelle-mutant deserves much of the credit for the victory in Blacksburg. (A major special teams breakdown is to blame, too, but more on that in the predicable “Sells”.)

Reggie Ball, the target of Chris Leak-scale contempt, has quietly earned his NCAA quarterbacking MBA this year. He’s always going to hover around the fifty percent mark in completions, but consider what you’ve done with your life: have you hit better than fifty percent at anything? If you have, take your Tony Robbins tapes and pat yourself on the back. We’ll go ahead and congratulate Ball for being good for two tds a game and not totally screwing up Tech’s chances of winning in most of his games thus far this season. Even if his passes look like they’re coming out of his hands at a 45 degree angle away from his intended passer, it’s working. Hails and huzzahs to the best 50 percent passing turbo-midget in the game.

Did he just call Calvin Johnson a "gazelle-mutant" and Reggie Ball a "turbo-midget"?

In addition, check out this quick take:

Ditto for Virginia Tech. Calvin Johnson is immune to Jenkins’ powers, as well as several major laws of physics. He also works on clean water projects in Bolivia in the offseason. Oh, and your girlfriend was totally willing to play naked pogo with him, but Calvin instead sat her down and talked with her, teaching her a valuable lesson about honesty, fidelity, and how lucky she is to have a good guy like you in her life. He’s that good.