Monday, February 19, 2007

Dickie V Spoof

Over at the UNC board, someone wrote this pretty hilarious spoof of Dickie V's thoughts on the GT/Duke game. Thought I would share:

Dickie here, back with thoughts on Sunday’s action. I thought the Buckeyes looked strong against Minnesota. And it was upset city in the ACC where the Wolfpack dominated the Hokies.

And speaking of the ACC, it looks like order has been restored as the Dukies notched another impressive home win against unranked Georgia Tech. What an awesome performance it was. I think it’s really obvious that Duke has built this turnaround by putting in some extra practice time perfecting the old Duke staples. For example, did you notice their complete domination from the free throw line? We’re talking 28 free throw opportunities to a mere 4 – that’s right 4 – for Georgia Tech. What an M&Mer! How can you not stand in awe at the one-sidedness of that statistic? And it you think that kind of perfection doesn’t matter, you better think again, baby! It accounted for a 15 point advantage in the made free throw department. Hey, it’s not hard to see the significance there when the final margin of victory was only nine. Even I can see that one, and I was a D performer in math!

Then there’s the amazing improvement in the Dukies’ defense. Just think about it for a minute. How many teams in America can hold an opponent to 4 free throws for an entire 40 minutes of PT? How many teams? How many? And did you notice how the Dukies were collecting offensive fouls left and right? We had diaper dandy Lance Thomas collecting three by himself. Did you see how he had the presence of mind to hit the deck on the slightest of player contact? That’s what you call basketball IQ my friends. I think Billy Packer said it best when he noted the Duke players were “feeling contact and flopping to the floor.” I mean they were dropping like bugs after a visit from the Orkin man, baby! What a thing of beauty it was. Yes, my friends, it is flopping like that that makes college basketball the great spectator sport that it is!

I was also impressed by the continued dominant play of Josh McRoberts. What an amazing skywalker he is. And just look at his scoring line. We’re talking 6 points on 2 of 5 shooting! Not to mention four rebounds by a 6’ 10” power forward! And I just can’t say enough about his passing ability. Did you see that second half behind the back pass? Ah baby, what a thing of beauty it was. And it was probably within 10 inches of landing in-bounds, too! That’s the thing about Mr. McRoberts. Even when he turns the rock over, he still just impresses me big-time!

The bottom line is this: In everything this kid does, whether its crying into a towel, cursing after a bricked layup, airmailing a pass into press row, or bouncing the rock off his own foot, he still has that steady composed look of a winner. And that’s why he will follow right in the footsteps of his mentor from last year, the all-time great PTP’er, Mr. JJ Redick. What else would you expect from a program that develops players with such consistency?

And that takes us to the most amazing component of this Duke team. We’re talking the hall of fame coach, the ultimate Rolls Roycer, the maker of miracles, one Michael Krzyzewski. His level of overachievement this year has been flat out unfathomable. Just think about it. He brings his young team of 6 high school All-Americans into the season ranked No. 10 in the polls. He takes them all the way up to No. 5 after a brutal non-conference season. Sure, some Duke haters questioned the quality of opponents like Columbia, Georgia Southern, UNC-G, Kent State, and San Jose State. But the bottom line here is Duke won, frequently big, against all of these teams. Granted, they stumbled a bit after playing a conference schedule that they had no choice but to play. But even this week, Coach K still had his once 5th ranked Dukies in first place in the prestigious poll category of "others receiving votes!" How incredible is that? And you know what it all comes down to? His passion for the game. You can just see it in so many ways. Like the way he slapped hands with each and every one of his players -- even those benchwarmers who never, ever peel off their Johnny Cash all black warm-ups -- to celebrate his own personal record of 700 wins. Yes, my friends, Coach Krzyzewski is excellence unsurpassed. He is the be all and end all, the Alpha and the Omega. He is, in the words of one Tina Turner, simply the best!

So those are my thoughts on another day of incredible hoops action.