Hilarious Post Comparing ACC teams to Countries

You thought I had time on MY hands? Check this out (thread here). Someone put a ton of thought into that post - deserves to go into a hall-of-fame.

Ok, I shouldn't, but I have to post it, for those who don't have access:

From Maryland board:

Duke = Germany: This is pretty obvious right? The evil power who everyone hates. Coach K easily parallels as Hitler. Dukies instead of Nazis. Raised arm salute and Fist. The brainwashing of Germans is very similar to “You’ve got angelic eyes”. Duke fans, especially the bandwagon whores, view themselves as superior just because they align themselves with the Duke basketball team just like the Germans viewed themselves as superior because they were Aryan. They’ve even got the propaganda thing down with Dick Vitale and ESPN. Quinn Snyder and Tommy Amaker fill the rolls of Himler and Rommel. The generals responsible for the expansion of their fascist ideals. Wojo is the perfect Eva Braun.

UNC = Japan: The other World Power. I know UNC has been down for 3 years, but historically they fill this roll better than any of the other ACC teams. Japan took over an enormously large part of the world and did it in dominating fashion, just like UNC had done for years. Many different places were taken over and became part of the empire, just like Dean Smith’s protégé’s have spread around the country. Dean Smith himself is kind of like the Emperor reigning over his kingdom, or family as UNC calls it. They pummeled Maryland just like Japan pummeled the US only to get bombs dropped on them in the form of 40 point blowouts.

Which brings us to……

Maryland = USA: The recently emerging program just like the recently emerging world power. Maryland stood up to the 2 super powers and knocked them down. Although Duke was not knocked down like Germany was, Maryland still surpassed them in winning the national title. UNC and Japan….well we know what happened to them. Perhaps VE day will come after VJ day in the ACC….. Roosevelt and Gary? One man in a wheelchair, the other flawed with some personality traits. Each stood up to monumental tasks and overcame them. Pearl Harbor for Roosevelt and the Death Penalty for Maryland. Americans are viewed by Europeans to be crude, uneducated and simple. We know how the ACC views the Terps, pretty much the same.

NC State = Italy: Italy at one time had been the World Power. One of the greatest empires in the world came from there. After the fall of the Roman Empire the Italians were relegated to second tier status. (Sound familiar?) However, they had that history and were making an attempt to climb back on top of the totem poll. (Again….pretty similar.) I’m not sure if the Italians still viewed themselves as a World Power at the time, even when they clearly were not, but for this analogy it would make a lot of sense if they did. Mussolini was a decent leader but was heavily outperformed by the other leaders at the time. Sendek anyone? Heck, the Italians even waffled during World War II just like NC State waffled on ACC expansion. Siding with Duke and UNC one time, and with the others later.

Virginia = France: It doesn’t get any easier than this one. Self proclaimed greatness with nothing to actually back it up. An air of superiority when in reality they were inferior. Great clothes, great food, great location…..horrible people. The Napoleonic complex sums it up almost perfectly. You have a short person who is so insecure that they need to overcompensate in other areas. Pete Gillen comes to mind. Didn’t he once say after a loss that UVA does things a little differently? You can’t have a more perfect example of someone trying to deflect a failure. Its just like an empty trophy case with a fake Super Bowl trophy sitting next to it (I know that’s football but the analogy is just too good). I used to like Virginia until I moved amongst them and had some bad experiences. I think the can be said of Americans and the French as well.

Wake Forest = Russia: The other emerging World Power. Russia had a history of decent success just like Wake. Never quite the World Power but never the doormat either. Perhaps Wake is on the verge of being an elite program like Russia was on the verge of being a Super Power. Some would argue that they are almost there. Wake and Maryland don’t love each other but we have an amicable relationship because we have common enemies, just like the US and Russia did. Of course Russia was much closer to the enemy and had to deal with it on a more regular basis. They battle head to head over territory and culture, like Wake and Duke battle over the state of Carolina for fans, recruits and exposure. Russia was also very close to Japan geographically and had to deal with them as well, just as Wake has to deal with UNC.

Georgia Tech = England: England was part of Europe but was not part of the mainland. Its very similar to how Georgia Tech has been in the ACC both geographically and figuratively. There was a period of time when Maryland, Wake and Virginia were not so good and Tech was the only school able to stand up with Duke and Carolina, just as England stood alone before the US and Russia turned the tide. Churchill was probably the most respected of all the leaders during that era and I think Paul Hewitt is the same in the ACC. Hewitt is almost regal in his demeanor much like the British. He always seems a step above the fray as opposed to the other coaches.

Clemson = Switzerland: The neutral country. No one hates Clemson, no one loves Clemson…..they’re just kind of there amongst us. I’m not even sure the Swiss have ever in their history tried to become a World Power. I think its pretty similar to Clemson’s ambivalence towards basketball. They’re a football school. Clemson also plays defense like Swiss Cheese.

Florida State = Australia: This was the toughest one for me. I picked Australia because they were sided with the US, Russia, England and France yet they were on the periphery. This is similar to how FSU would be more aligned with Maryland, Tech, Wake and UVA over Duke, UNC and NC State. They were also a very new country in terms of the world community as is FSU to the ACC. They didn’t contribute too much but perhaps it was because they hadn’t had the time to do so yet. FSU did have 2 really good years when they first joined and one other tournament bid so it hasn’t been completely unimportant. Australia had similar success in the Pacific against Japan.